he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
