I think my vagina is haunted
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
