Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
