In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
