Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize