We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
