whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
