erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
