So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
