We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
