it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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