I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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