I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize