I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize