GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
