do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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