I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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