Your tits are I can't wait for
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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