Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
