This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
