it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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