everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
