If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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