Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
