i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
