Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
