were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
