you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize