We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
