Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
