i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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