If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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