yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
