let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
