dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
