Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
