Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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