If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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