What a fucking waste of an outfit
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
