Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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