i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize