Do you still have your period?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
