I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
