Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize