you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
