in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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