"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
