Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
