Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
