And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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