hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
