Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
