It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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