she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
