How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize