i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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