i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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