HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
