My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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