Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
