its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
