I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Do you remember whose house we're in?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
