i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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